"Cause for Applause"

Had a very early day and headed for downtown Little Rock. Now the traffic in these parts is nowhere near what we’re used to, but being out of traffic for the past year…it was a pain! Not sure what the problem was, but it took a little while to get there! Of course, it helped that EVERYONE was running late because of the same problem!

This is the second year that I’ve volunteered to be with the “girls” backstage. This year I had (6) 5 year olds. No parents are supposed to be backstage. This means I get them into their costumes, keep them entertained, get them on stage in time, fix hair, make-up, etc., etc.! The morning is the dress rehearsal, then there’s just enough time to get back “home”, eat lunch, do hair, etc. and head back for the recital! This year we had Ashleigh’s hair done “up”. Last year her curls were gone before she even hit the stage! An added plus, the stylist was a professional ballet dancer in the past, and is going back in Jan. of 2007! We had just enough time for a nap (Ashleigh said to me “that was a short nap”), ate and drove back into Little Rock. The girls numbers were 4th and 37th plus Ashleigh, Taylor and Grace were in a gymnastics routine and all were in the finale! It is a LONG day for everyone but worth every minute! I enjoy spending the time with Ashleigh and get to see the recital from a totally different perspective! Thank goodness that they have a DVD of the entire recital so I do get to see it from the front! J One of my favorite moments is just before they go onstage I tell the girls “big smiles” and look forward! I then hurry behnd the curtains from one side to the other. This year Ashleigh was second from the end. She looked over to me at one point, I smiled and pointed forward, she put on the biggest, brightest smile and faced the audience! You could see the pride in her face! Another priceless moment, is their second number is from Lion King. Much older girls danced first, then our girls went on, did their number and sit in the middle of the stage when their done. The older girls come back out, dance around the little ones, one girl is lifted over their heads and carried around the little girls. The little girls are just AWED by this and you can see it on their faces! I am amazed at the difference in just a years time and thought that Ashleigh did an awesome job! She loves to dance and does a great job! The recital was over about 10:00 pm. You’d think a five-year old would have fallen asleep on the way home, but she was still wide awake when we got home!

Had an added bonus at the recital! Our daughter, Kimberleigh was also a part of it! Although she did take a tap class this year, she didn’t dance. One of the numbers was from the Wizard of Oz and they needed volunteers to play the characters! Since Kim had been “Dorothy” for Halloween a few years ago, she was a natural! She wore a horrible “Dorothy” wig though instead of braiding her own hair! She said she didn’t want anyone to recognize her! I wasn’t able to see her “perform” but I did get to see pictures! J

Oh My! Oh Me!

Ashleigh had her birthday party on Saturday! It was at the Fairytale Tea Parties in Little Rock, AR. When we first arrived, Ashleigh was “schooled” on how to acknowledge her guests, what the schedule would be and then shown to a room FULL of dresses! She was allowed to choose whatever dress she wanted. It didn’t matter if it was too big because we had pins and such to “alter” them! She was then shown the tiaras. Her guests would all wear hats, she was wearing a tiara because she was now Princess Ashleigh! As her guests arrived, she thanked them all for coming, showed them where to place their gifts and took them into the dressing room. There they were also allowed to pick out any dress they wanted. A funny note…this place also has costumes of every shape, size and variety. All the girls wanted to be something with a big head (I think it was a bear but it could have been a dragon or something)! All these beautiful “gowns” and they wanted a costume!

Then it was time for “make-up”. All the girls were allowed to put on their own make-up with the help of a hand mirror! It was pretty cute! Blush and lip stick! Time for “tea”. They were schooled on the proper etiquette for tea and then allowed to pour their own tea, add cubed sugar, pour milk, etc. Each girl was then given a plate with a cute little sandwich dipped in sprinkles (the corner only), fruit kabob (a small toothpick with colored marshmallows and grapes), shortbread cookie, chocolate “soup” and finally a petit four. Ashleigh’s had a candle on it. The girls sang to her and she must have been hungry because her mouth was full when she was supposed to be blowing! It was sooo funny! Some time before this they heard a fairytale story that involved Ashleigh. When a certain word was said, all the girls would say “oh my, oh me, Princess Ashleigh needs some tea”! Then there was a “fashion show” where each girl got up, picked out a colorful boa, their fashion was described and their picture was taken! After they were done they went outside for a parade! They stood on the sidewalk and gave “Princess” waves to the passing cars!

It was a fun day and Ashleigh had a great time! She loved her birthday party!

Graduation, Birthday and Recitals

On Tuesday we enjoyed the evening at Ashleigh's pre-school graduation! In August she will begin Kindergarten. A few of us were talking about this...this will be her first of MANY graduations! Next year it will be her kindergarten graduation, then 6th grade graduation, middle school graduation, high school graduation and finally college graduation! Whew! When did we start having "all" these graduations?

Yesterday was Ashleigh's 5th birthday! We enjoyed spending the day with her. She wanted to go to "Dixie Cafe". We ended up going as a very early dinner since she had dance recital pictures at 6:00. The waitress brought her ice cream but didn't "sing" to her. Ashleigh looked at me and said "they didn't sing". I explained to her that there was no one else in the restaurant (no other servers and only "us") so we sang to her instead! That seemed to suffice! Then it was "home" to open presents, hair and make-up for pictures, back "home" to have birthday cake and get the "real" happy birthday singing! It isn't everyday that you turn FIVE, but I think this one was a hit! Next weekend (since this one is Memorial Day weekend) is her "kid's birthday party" so her celebration keeps on going! :-)

Tea and computers DON'T mix!

Had to purchase a new computer today. Our "old" laptop wasn't even a year old yet! Of course when you buy a new computer you have to "upgrade" and spend more than the last time! This has turned out to be an expensive lesson and I also get to say "I told you so" 'cause it wasn't ME that spilled the "full to the very tippy top" hot tea all over the computer! I was also very GLAD that we have dark carpet so it didn't ruin the carpet as well! Hmmm, do you think he'll listen the next time I tell him he shouldn't have food or beverages by the computer? I'm still waiting to see if the computer guru can save the pictures and documents I had on our hard drive and if by some slight chance the computer does dry out and work...it will become Don's and this one will be off limits! :-) Still working on installing the programs, etc. the old one had on it. I'm also considering an external hard drive so that I don't have to worry if some computer guru can save my irreplaceable pictures the next time something like this happens! Should have taken a picture of the laptop on it's side with tea still dripping out of it!

Did someone say "windy"?

We spent the week in Hutchinson, KS at a Monaco Wannagos rally. The Wannagos are a small chapter vs. the VERY large chapter of Monaco International. The rally was attended by less than 100 coaches vs. 400-800 at a Monaco (Intl. or “Come Home”) rally! It was a lot of fun, but very tiring as well! Breakfast is served between 7-9 and then they had various activities scheduled on different days. We had a “happy hour” each day, catered dinner, and various entertainment. Let’s see…we had a “Red Hat” luncheon, line dancing instructions, crafts, etc. One night they had a Bunko game, another we all got on a bus and drove to Wichita for a “chuck wagon” supper. Not only did we have a great dinner, but a “Cowboy” band as well. Another night, Carl Acuff Jr., had a show for us and last night we had a DJ and dancing. The best part about this smaller rally is I felt that I met a lot more people, had more personal conversations and got to know more about those that I did meet. I guess maybe at the larger rallies we tend to “hang out” with those that we know and rarely get a chance for more one on one with people. There were also Monaco techs there and the parts truck as well. One of the reasons we love our Monaco motorhomes is that Monaco takes very good care of their customers. Techs will repair two items on your coach, if your coach is out of warranty labor is free and parts are discounted. It’s nice that you can be at something fun and have problems taken care of! We don’t like to have problems, but with all the workings on a motorhome plus the affects of rolling down a highway (it’s like a perpetual earthquake), you have to expect things will happen!

So what were our thoughts on Kansas? Well, we started out with rain, then wind; had a tornado “watch” one or two nights, more rain for several nights, wind, more wind and finally a day or so of “warmer” temperatures! I think there were two days that we might have sat out and enjoyed the warmth, but that’s about it! On our way to Hutchinson we stayed in St. John, KS and took a day trip to Dodge City to see the Boot Hill Cemetery and Museum. It was neat to see, but it wasn’t open 100% as their season starts in June! One of the original reasons that *I* wanted to go to Dodge City was a brochure that we had picked up…it talked about a steakhouse in Dodge City. Our first stop was the “welcome center”. When we asked about the restaurant we were told it was no longer open! Oh man! They told us about two others that they thought were good. After the museum we headed for an early dinner. We decided on Casey’s Cowtown. When we first pulled up, there was only one other car in the parking lot. I went inside to even see if they were open! By the time we left…it was packed! I have to add that I had one of the very best filet mignons that I’ve ever had! It was scrumptious!

One day while at Hutchinson we took a quick trip to Yoder, KS. A “neighbor” at the rally brought me a “thank you” gift for letting her use my satellite internet. She brought me a candle that smelled so good. When I asked her where she got it, she told me “Yoder”. Jerri & Lloyd Wood, and Don and I headed for Yoder the next afternoon! Yoder is basically an Amish town. In fact, as we were driving down one of the streets, we encountered a horse and buggy going the other direction! Although we didn’t go into any of the Amish stores, we did go into several of the “touristy” stores. I found my candle and also went into a candle store where they make all kinds of yummy scents. They will also custom fill your containers! We decided to go into a local restaurant for lunch. It was packed and for good reason! All the sandwiches were made with home-made fresh bread! It was great! The prices were also unbelievable! Our lunch (for 2) with drinks was only $8.00! Heck, if we had eaten at McDonald’s it would have been that much! They also had several Amish servers there as well.

Jerri & Lloyd had “invited” us to attend the rally with them. We met them at the service center in Harrisburg, OR in February and had a lot of fun with them then. Our week in Kansas was no different. They both kept me in stitches! Don and Lloyd just really hit it off well, as did Jerri and I so it’s fun to spend time with them! We’ll see them again when we are in Wyoming in late June and most likely when we hit the service center again in October! They are both from Kansas (originally) but now have a home in So. California. Jerri was a great source for information and provided a lot of “fuel” for Don! I had mentioned to Don that I would like a pair of cowboy boots so he and Lloyd set off in search of some for Mother’s Day. The pair he actually came up with was too big since they didn’t have my correct size, but returning them was “no problem”. Jerri and I set off for Salina, KS where she knew of a large western wear store. I ended up with some really neat boots called “Star Baby’s! They are too cool! I have to admit though; I had to take them off last night before the dancing began! They need to be worn for a while!

Today our rally came to an end and it was time to say our goodbyes. The end of the rallies and our gatherings with friends is always sad, but we always look forward to seeing them again on down the road. We each head off in different directions, each one with a different reason for going that way. We headed south and east towards Arkansas where we will spend a few weeks. Our granddaughter, Ashleigh will be graduating from pre-school, turning 5, and having a dance recital all in the next few weeks! We made it as far as Seminole, OK today and should reach Cabot, AR sometime tomorrow!

A letter to my granddaughter...

Haleigh, six years ago you went to heaven. At times it seems like it was only days ago and at others it seems like a lifetime ago. There have been many days when I wonder what you would have been like if you had lived, if you had of been born healthy, if you hadn’t left this earth. And I can only imagine. You were the total opposite of your little sister, Ashleigh. You looked exactly like your Daddy. You had lots of dark, beautiful hair. You weren’t fair skinned like your mom! You would have had the most beautiful tan. You had beautiful eyelashes and eyebrows!

You never had the chance to see the room that your Mommy and Daddy, Grandma and Great-Grandma put so much time and effort into. Ironically, it was themed “Precious Moments”. Great-Grandma made a comforter, bed skirt, curtains, diaper holder, etc. while I painted pictures of Precious Moments characters. Little did we know when your Mommy decided on that for your room that we really would only have precious moments. To this day I have a hard time looking at the figurines that they sell. The last one I bought was for your Mommy, after you went to heaven. I think it’s called “Heaven’s Gate”.

It doesn’t seem fair. To you, your mom, to us…your family. You never had a chance to do so many things. So many things that we take for granted. You never had the chance to run and play. Have a birthday party, experience Christmas Day, school, so many, many things. We never got to hear you laugh, giggle, watch your first steps, see your first loose tooth. For your birthday each year I send your mom roses. One for each year. Pink…baby pink. For me I buy balloons, put some “Forget-Me-Not” seeds inside and release them. One for each year. I always attach a little note for you. For your going to heaven date we donate money to the American Heart Association. For both of those dates I light a candle. Why do I do those things? To acknowledge your life, your existence, your importance in our life and to let you and your mommy know just how much I loved you. I never, ever want to forget you.

So many people have a hard time knowing what to say when someone loses a loved one. I think it’s even harder when it’s a child. I can’t stand when they say “it was for the best”. Best for whom? Or, well, she was only here for a few days…it’s not like you had years with her. Do you love your child/grandchild any less because you only had them for days instead of years? Just means we don’t have as many memories or pictures! I want people to know that you are my granddaughter, even though you are no longer here. Alive or not…you are still my grandchild, still your mother’s daughter, still your sister’s big sister.

Haleigh, while I miss you, I am so glad that you are no longer hooked up to all those machines. No longer struggling for every breath that you take. I’m glad that you are running and playing in heaven although I would so much rather see you doing those things here on earth. I hope you can smell the roses. Watch for the balloons drifting slowly up to heaven for you. If by chance they don’t make it, look down for those “Forget-Me-Not” flowers that are blooming here and there.

I love you and miss you!

Love,

Grandma

Our Next Adventure

One thing you may have noticed if you check our blog very often is that I’m not very good about keeping it updated! It tends to go in spurts! Make sure you check the “titles” because sometimes I like to sneak something in there…it’s a great feature that I can change the date/time!

So we’re on to a new adventure! Don and I left Southern California a week ago. Originally we had planned to head east via I-40, going through Arizona, New Mexico, etc. heading towards Hutchinson, Kansas…our destination this trip! One of the great benefits of this lifestyle is changing plans in the spur of the moment, or heading down a different road than the one that you had originally planned! Anyhow, Don happened to read me a post on his MCOA (Monaco Coach Owners Association) online forum. A MCOA friend of ours was taking a beading class in Las Vegas. Don asked me if I would like to go to it! What a crazy question! With a few phone calls, we were set and headed north instead of east! Once we got into our park in Las Vegas, Don noticed a fluid all over the back of the motorhome. A quick call to Monaco and we were somewhat set for service (at least on their dime)! So that meant instead of taking off from Vegas on Sunday as planned…it would be another day or two! Once another of our MCOA friends (Maribel & Bob Clerc) found out that there were two MCOA couples (ourselves and Glenda & Ray Roe) at Arizona Charlie’s in Vegas…they changed their plans and moved just a block from us! ( It made for some good times and we all had fun! Glenda & I went to our class on Saturday and ended up making a beautiful Victorian necklace. Glenda finished hers that night and next morning…me, well I finally finished mine today while we were driving down the road! Ray & Don worked on making a modification on the motorhome while we were playing. It was a great bargain…Ray loves chocolate chip cookies. Guess what they had on Sunday morning? ( We had a great steak dinner at Sam’s Town with everyone on Saturday night. Since we hadn’t eaten nearly enough, we decided to go to the Sunday brunch at Arizona Charlie’s, then Glenda, Maribel and I spent a few hours in the casino. Can’t say that we made a lot of $$, but we did have fun playing on a Rapid Roulette game! Rapid Roulette is an actual roulette wheel but you place your bets on a computerized screen. It was a little hectic because you have to place your bet(s) quickly. We learned just before we quit how to correct mistakes, that would have made it so much easier! Oh well…we had a lot of fun. I can be easily entertained!

Monday morning Don took the motorhome down to Freightliner where it was determined that an air conditioner hose had come off. Ended up being a little more complicated and they couldn’t get the fan to turn once they were done. It was the end of the day so they asked Don to come back on Tuesday morning. I spent the day running errands and such and when I was done, the Roe’s, Clerc’s and myself went to the new Wynn Casino and then onto Caesar’s Palace. We thought we were going to get an ice cream at Planet Hollywood, but with the “immigration walkout” on May 1…we were out of luck! Since I don’t want to “get started” on my views of THAT subject, I’ll just go on from there! Decided that it was probably our last night together, so we opted to go to the buffet at Sam’s. First we all stopped at the Clerc’s for an “attitude adjustment”! The guys headed home after dinner and the girls…well; we decided to repeat the night before!

Tuesday, Don headed back to Freightliner and I went searching for a couple of stores! Finally found the last one (Trader Joe’s) just as Don was finished (turned out to be a broken electrical connection). At last…we were once again on our way! We made it to an Elk’s lodge in Richfield, UT. No hook-ups, but a place to park for the night. There was a fifth-wheel parked there when we pulled in, but it was only the two of us for the rest of the night. Wednesday morning we pulled out fairly early. We made one of those “last minute” decisions and decided to get off the major highway (I70) and turned onto Hwy. 50. Actually, one of our deciding factors was a bridge we saw on the map that was over 1,000 feet above the river! Well….we’re going to have to go back to see the bridge. It was the Royal Gorge in Colorado and you can no longer take vehicles (especially big RV’s) over it! Since there was really no place to park alongside the highway and unhook the car, we decided that would have to be our “next” trip! We made it to a RV park in Gunnison, CO. *I* decided that *we* needed to take Tess for a walk since she had been cooped up in the motorhome for the last few days. There was this nice big field next to us (can you see where this is going to?) so we let her loose! She runs like a gazelle at times, or a rabbit or something…not sure you would call it dog! Anyhow, she’s running and running and have a great time until…she found something! Not sure if it was a bag of fish guts, bait or what but man, she rolled, and rolled and then rolled some more in it! We kept calling her to come back, but it was as if she didn’t even hear us. I don’t remember how we finally got her back (I think she was chasing something after her romp with the fish guts and then lost whatever it was). Once we got her back on her leash…she ended up getting a bath! Let me tell you, that water out of the hose was COLD! In Vegas we had been experiencing temps in the high 80’s to low 90’s! Not so in Gunnison! The night before the guy told us it had gotten to around 32 degrees! It was about 58 degrees as Tess was getting her bath!

Thursday a.m. we headed out once again. Today was “bridge” day! Well, once we got to the Royal Gorge and discovered it wasn’t actually a bridge we would be driving on we kept heading east! We thought we had gotten up in altitude in Gunnison at 7,500’, but on our drive we went over Monarch Pass…at 11,000’! Saw lots of snow in the distance and as we got higher it was on all sides of us. It was weird seeing so much snow in May, but guess its pretty common at the higher elevations! We finally stopped in Lamar, CO at the Elks Lodge there. They were so friendly. The bartender invited me in to play BINGO that night and invited Don back in for a drink. Had dinner and went back to “visit”. While I didn’t have any “luck” with BINGO I found myself sitting across from an older woman who lives in Kansas. In talking to her, I found out she lived in Syracuse, KS. Earlier in the day Don’s dad had told me that his dad was born in Syracuse and there was some other family from there. Small world…this woman knew of the Eyre family! I could have chosen any other table to sit at, but I picked this one! I think we both had a good time.

This morning we once again got up and headed out. Our travel plans for this trip were to drive slowly and enjoy some sights, but since we had the delay in Las Vegas, it wasn’t to be! Finally arrived in St. John, KS where we will stay until Sunday when we move to the Kansas State Fair Grounds in Hutchinson. We will be attending a Monaco rally where we are meeting up with a few of our Monaco friends. It should be a lot of fun! The park here in St. John’s is nice enough…not many frills, but we have full-hook-ups with 50 amp electric so we are able to run everything and anything I want (and even some I don’t want)! There are only the camp hosts and us, so it’s certainly not crowded! ( I think we are going to drive back into Dodge City in the morning and see some of the sights. The weather today has been cold and drizzly with some light showers this evening. We’re toasty warm inside and aren’t planning on going anywhere for another day so let it rain!

In Memory Of...

Six years ago. Wow, seems like such a long time ago, but then again at times it seems like only yesterday. Six years ago, today, a beautiful little girl was born. My first, natural granddaughter, Haleigh Nicole was born to my daughter, Kimberleigh. It was Kimberleigh’s 1st child. A completely normal, easy pregnancy with no complications. Until today…six years ago. I was in Northern California for Haleigh’s upcoming birth. I didn’t want to miss it…I was there early! We waited…and waited! Finally it seemed like Kim was in labor. We went to the doctor and it was confirmed that indeed Kim was in labor. They had us go ahead to the hospital since the kids lived over an hour away. We were excited. We were happy. We had no idea that our day would end in great sadness and disbelief.

Kimberleigh did wonderfully. On Haleigh’s due date, April 28th, Haleigh Nicole Dickerson was born. I was in the delivery room of Sutter-Roseville Hospital’s Birth Center and was able to witness that great miracle of birth! Haleigh was a beautiful baby with a head full of dark hair! Within minutes of her birth though, the atmosphere in the room changed. Although the nurses were busy cleaning Haleigh and doing what seemed “normal” there quickly became a tension in the room. I heard a nurse on the phone, but I didn’t hear what she said. She was giving Haleigh some “extra” oxygen and then they told us that they were taking her to the nursery to clean her up and weigh her. Her dad, Steven, followed along. What followed turned out to be our greatest nightmare.

I was still in the delivery room with Kim when I heard the loudspeaker outside call “Code Blue Nursery”. I’m not sure how I knew or why, but I knew it was our baby! I told Kim that I would be right back, stepped out into the hall and then literally ran down to the nursery. I arrived in time to see them close the curtains and Steven came out. He told us that Haleigh had needed some assistance and that everything was o.k. I went back to Kim where I told her that it was Haleigh. I wasn’t sure what was wrong but I would try to find out. It took a little while and they came to tell us that they thought Haleigh had a hole in her heart. It turned out to be much worse…worse than we could ever imagine. It seemed like hours, but I don’t think it really was when they came to tell us that they were transporting Haleigh to a Level 1 hospital in Sacramento where they were better able to take care of her. I think it was then they told us she had a heart defect and they would be performing a procedure to “tear” a hole in her heart. At that time we were just waiting for the “Transport Team”. Kimberleigh hadn’t even had a chance to hold Haleigh and I asked if she would be able to at least see her before they took her. I was told that once they “packaged” her up, they would bring her by if it was possible. Imagine having your newborn whisked away within minutes of her birth and not even getting the chance to see her, or say “good-bye”, in case… They did bring her by but it was almost impossible to see her through the tubes and equipment that was surrounding her. Kim was able to touch her hand, but moments later they took her away.

Steven followed the ambulance and I sent the rest of our family home to Kim & Steven’s. Kim was put into a room and we waited, cried and prayed while we waited to hear from Steven. I think our biggest question was “why”. Kimberleigh’s doctor came by and told us that they would release her in a few hours so that she could go to the other hospital to be with Haleigh, but they wanted her to be there for at least 4 hours. At some time Steven called us to say that the procedure was finished, but he didn’t really have any other information. As soon as we could, Kim and I headed to Sacramento. We had our first good look at Haleigh a few hours later. She was so small and hooked up to so many machines! It was heartbreaking to see her. She was on a ventilator and the machines kept beeping and flashing. I don’t remember all the particulars but I know that we were told we were “waiting” for a doctor that was on vacation or something and he wouldn’t be back for a few days. We were also told that Haleigh had “transposed great arteries”. The arteries going in and out of her heart were “transposed” so that the blood that was supposed to be going in was actually going out and vice versa. I remember at the time that they were quite optimistic at that point that she would have heart surgery, her arteries would be reversed and although she still had a long road ahead of herself, she should survive.

My mom, Kimberleigh, Steven and myself became fixtures in the NICU waiting room. We were there for the duration. Kimberleigh and Steven were set-up at the local Ronald McDonald house. If you’ve never had to become familiar with them, they are fantastic and make it so much better for families with sick children. To this day, I can’t say anything but great things about them and what they offer to the families. My mom and I drove back and forth from Sacramento to Beale AFB so that we could take care of the animals at home. Someone from Beale (Steven’s commanding officer?) made sure that I was given a pass so that I could go in and out of the gate without a hassle. They offered to do anything they could for the kids…

On Day 4 Haleigh was taken off the ventilator and put on something that gave her oxygen via nasal prongs. We were finally able to hold her for the very first time! It felt wonderful to get to hold her even though we didn’t have too long. We were able to take pictures with everyone…Mommy, Daddy, Grandma and even Great-Grandma! Kim was hesitant to spend too much time with Haleigh because she had a cold and couldn’t think of anything worse than making Haleigh even sicker. Every time she went in, she wore a mask. Later that day Haleigh was placed back on the vent. It was heartbreaking for all of us.

I think it was about Day 11 when they decided to do an EEG on Haleigh to determine what her brain was doing. I don’t think anyone had ever told us that they feared she had brain damage. That was one of the longest days. You knew it was bad when they asked for Kimberleigh and Steven to come to the hospital to talk about the results. I’m not sure if they gave us false hope or if we were all just in shock, but I truly felt that when they said they would repeat the test in a few days to see if there were any changes, that there could have been…

Even amongst our shock, disbelief and sadness we had a moment of laughter. In the NICU they never turn off the lights. They dim them, but they are always on. At times they would cover Haleigh’s head to shield her from the lights, but there was one day when the lights were dimmed and someone turned them up. Haleigh kind of blinked and looked at us as if to say “hey, turn off those lights”! I know I wondered how they could say she was so brain damaged and yet she would have that kind of reaction. It was so hard to see her, you felt so badly for her. She had monitors all over, the tape that was on her face left her face so red and raw and at times her face and body would be so swollen. It looked so painful.

By this time Haleigh’s outlook looked pretty grim. Steven’s mom flew in from Texas and a day or so later, Don flew up from Southern California. The doctors repeated the EEG and told us that there was severe brain damage and no change from the last test. Basically they told the kids that they would support whatever way they decided to go, but that there was really no hope that Haleigh would ever be a functioning child. She would never be off the respirator, she would never walk, talk, crawl or do anything that a parent would expect her to…and before that would even happen she would still have to survive the surgery to correct her arteries. Her chances were minimal as her kidneys and liver were already beginning to shut down. The decision was made to take Haleigh off the ventilator…

On May 9th, Haleigh was baptized by the hospital chaplain. We were able to dress Haleigh in a dress my sister, Kathy, had given to Kim for her baby shower and wrap her in a beautiful white blanket that my mom had made especially for her. It was the dress and blanket that Kimberleigh had planned on taking Haleigh home in. We were given a private room for the family…in fact it was a room that Kimberleigh had used many times while she was pumping her breast milk for Haleigh. We were finally able to hold her, change her and give her all the love that we could. A nurse came in and took her footprints, handprints and cut off a lock of her hair for Kim and Steven. One of my very favorite pictures of Haleigh is after her handprints when we were cleaning off the ink from her hands. We spent the entire time we had with Haleigh taking turns and holding her and rocking her. She never really ever cried…she only had a whimper or two. I spent a few hours in the middle of the night holding her, singing to her and telling her everything I could think of that I wanted to tell her while Kim tried to get an hour or two of sleep.

The hours quickly drew to a close as we spent time holding Haleigh as her breathing grew shallower and shallower. On May 10th, 2000 Haleigh Nicole Dickerson gently passed away. She was held and surrounded by her family, Mommy – Kimberleigh, Daddy – Steven, Maternal Grandma – Vicki, Maternal Grandpa – Don, Paternal Grandma – Sue, and her Maternal Great-Grandma – Frances.

Even though it’s been six years today, Haleigh is missed, loved and remembered.

Haleigh Nicole Dickerson (April 28, 2000 – May 10, 2000)

“Some people only dream of angels. We got to hold one in our arms”

Getting a Grandma "Fix"

Since we were in Sacramento it seemed like a perfect time to fly east and get a “Grandma Fix”! I was only gone for a few days, but I hadn’t seen Ashleigh since the beginning of November and it would be another few months if I didn’t take advantage of our location! Left Don in the care of our friends, Larry and Carol and they took very good care of him while I was gone!

I had the chance to see Ashleigh’s new pre-school but didn’t get to see her new dance class. She really wanted me to leave another day so I could see her at dance. When I told her I HAD seen her dance class before, she informed me that it was her MONDAY class and not her TUESDAY class! Jeesh, Grandma’s should know the difference!

Of course, she loves to put "make-up" on with Grandma. Can you believe I actually let her use my expensive make-up brush AND make-up? Grandma's sometimes do the silliest things!

Ashleigh loves looking at the pictures as I upload them to her mom’s computer! I also showed her some “older” videos that I had taken on previous visits…she loved watching those and I must have shown them to her a hundred times! She and I laughed and laughed at some of them! They were so funny that everyone had to see them at least once and twice was even better! It’s amazing to see how much she has changed in such a short time! I swear that her legs have doubled in length in the last year…and the baby fat has just turned into the sweetest little girl ever! Hard to believe that in just a few short months she will turn 5 years old! Of course, her personality is ever changing and she is getting so very independent! Her favorite saying “I can do it all by myself”! Got lots of hugs, kisses and playing time in but every visit is way too short and has to end. Ashleigh and I both cry, it’s so much easier when I know when my next visit is to be!

My flight changed planes in Las Vegas. I had a short one hour layover and spent just a few minutes at the slot machines! Won big…$30.75 (it only took me $5.00) so I cashed out and headed over to my gate to wait! Got home (to Sacramento) and the next morning found out that my mom had spent the night in the emergency room. She was later admitted to the hospital for possible diverticulitis. It’s not a good feeling when you’re hundreds of miles away and a family member (mom, dad, sibling, child, etc.) is in the hospital! Thank goodness for cell phones as I was able to keep in touch with my mom and sister and keep updated on her “condition”. Good news to report…she was able to come home today and she’s feeling so much better than a few days ago! I drove 2-1/2 hours to see her and take her home from the hospital and 2 hours back (don’t ask why the ½ hour difference!) but I would do it again in a heartbeat to get her home!

The weather report here in Lancaster? Why should it be any different than some of my blogs lately? Weird weather is forecasted here in Lancaster as well! It’s been very windy yesterday and today, but the worst is yet to come! Rain (so what’s so unusual about that), cold temperatures (really?) and possible snow in the next few days (and my point is?)! We are headed for the Monaco pre-rally (pre to the FMCA rally in Pomona, CA) and thankfully we are all supposed to be parked on blacktop…that really helps when you have these big, heavy motorhomes in rainy weather!

Rain, rain, go away...how cliche!

We’ve had some weird weather lately! Arrived in Harrisburg, OR to have some service work done on the motorhome. A few days later we had some snow flurries! Of course, record lows had to hit the area while we were there as well! Yikes! It was bitter cold! There were quite a few nights when we had to leave the hose disconnected and even one or two when we pulled the slides in so the awnings wouldn’t freeze! We left Harrisburg when we heard there was a winter storm approaching so we wouldn’t get snowed in as we went over the Siskiyou Mountains heading towards California. While we didn’t encounter any snow, we did hit rain…and more rain…and even more rain!

We stopped in Redding, CA which is where we had planned on stopping, but what we didn’t plan was for our alternator to go out! We were driving when Don noticed the amps were discharging or something of that nature. This was Sunday of course, and anything that could repair us in Redding was closed! Drove into the Freightliner Service Center where they diagnosed the alternator. Of course, they didn’t have one to fit. There WAS one in Harrisburg and Las Vegas! How convenient! Monaco over-nighted one for us and we were on our way. A day later, but on the road once again!

Now, I forgot to mention the battle we had the same day as the alternator! We have a satellite dish on the top of the motorhome and I’m sure we’ve been the subject of a few conversations…especially after Monday! On Sunday, we pulled into the camp site, put the satellite dish up and no problems! On Tuesday, pulled into the same exact spot. Only this time the car was unhooked and we were straight! Oh yeah, wait a minute, I forgot on Sunday we had to move into this site from the one right next to it…there was this beautiful tree that was just starting to bloom…right in the way! So I asked if we could more over…no tree…no problem…that is, until Tuesday! Now we didn’t pull up as far so we could reach all of our connections and the car isn’t on back, so we didn’t have to worry about it beign in the street. Well, we can’t “see” the tree that seems to be in the way! Way…way across the street! So we move backwards a few feet. Guess we aren’t looking exactly where the dish is, ‘cuase it still can’t seem to get the signal. Move back a little farther, nope, no luck. Move forward…nope, no luck. I say to Don “we were up a lot farther yesterday, let’s try that”. Now why don’t men like to be corrected? Guess what, it worked! (Gloating here…I tried to tell him there was a tree in the way!) Of course, satellite is SO VERY important! It holds the key for the t.v. AND the computer! 

Today we finally made it to Lodi (close to Sacramento). We are parked in front of some old friend’s house, Carol and Larry Bonadurer (Don used to work with Larry…and I’m not implying that they are old, just an old friendship!) but tomorrow we will move to an RV park so I can do laundry! Plan on staying in this area for about a week and then we are headed south to Lancaster!